Jibby's Advice for your problems!

jibjqrkljibjqrkl Eventually Perceptive
edited July 2012 in Less Rokk More Talk
Well hi there. I'm Sarah.

In the relatively short time I've been here on these forums, I've noticed that this is a great community. And I also noticed there are some people who don't exactly have everything going to great for them in life/love/anything. Or maybe had some troubles in the past.

From personal experience on here, I found that people here can really help you with anything that's on your mind. Whether it's a small thing like not knowing how to talk to a guy/girl you like. Or bigger things like being shaken up from seeing a deadly car accident in front of you.

So i made this thread for people who feel like they want to talk about this. Sometimes it just really helps to let it all out (for me at least), and even if maybe nobody here has an answer you're looking for. Just getting support from people helps a lot.
And maybe if you don't really want other people to know something like this about you. You could make a new account and post in here, completely anonymous. We'll welcome you with open arms.

Of course I'm not going to be able to do this alone, i'm asking all the awesome RB.com people to help me help people.

[center]long story short:[/center]

Post about you're problems, and we'll try to help you with it!



A few rules to make this as smooth as possible:
1. Although i'm 99% sure most of us actually want to help you, there of course always is a chance someone comes in here with the sole purpose of making someone feel miserable. I want to ask you to just ignore and report those people.

2. If you don't agree with someone's advice, don't start an argument in here please. just say what you would do instead. If you want to have an argument with that person please do it in PM or another part of the forums so this won't get filled up with it. (the exception being when someone gives advice that could seriously be bad for someone's health. Example: someone can't get to sleep and someone says he should take twice the max. dose of sleeping pills.)

3. If you have any problem with what is being posted in here, or the way things are going. please tell me in a PM. please keep this place as much argument free as possible

Comments

  • DangimarockerDangimarocker Headliner
    edited June 2012
    Ok i need help.
    Last night i had a monstrous toe disease and went to the hospital. The doctor looked down at it and said "Son, why the hell did you wait this long?". I explained that i've been working 38 hours and my rock band addiction and he said "Sounds like you have more than one issue!" and chuckled. To keep the story short, I was taken to a surgery room and they cut my toe open to find three rocks about the size of a eraser.
    The doctor says i shouldn't play rock band anymore, should i listen to him?

    *This is all a joke*
  • WitticusWitticus VERY DEEP
    edited June 2012
    dog037;4785736 said:
    What are your qualifications?

    #1 She's not me.
    #2 This looks like real help.
    #3 She's not me.

    It's so nice that I'm the first thing mentioned when it comes to an advice thread.
  • Hogan2000Hogan2000 Banned
    edited June 2012
    Runesmith;4785821 said:
    I'll bite. :)

    I'm incredibly worried about finding a full-time job. I graduated from college a little less than a month ago (BS in Journalism, minor in Computer Science) and I've had two job interviews in that span of time, one of which was with the newspaper I interned for one semester. I've wanted to be either an embedded reporter (like a war correspondent, for example) or an investigative journalist since high school. I'm still waiting to hear back from the two of them and I'm practically biting at the bit. I'm already working full-time in an unrelated job I'm grateful to have, but it's a draining one. The worst part is that it prevents me from spending much time with my family (I'm Italian, and the stereotype that family comes before all else is beyond true for our fam, at least) since it's a graveyard shift job, and a real schedule killer.

    Also, before someone says hurrduhhurr you picked a terrible major get a real job, consider that I absolutely love my concentrations and that journalism/communication majors actually have one of the lowest unemployment rates for recent grads (7.3 percent). :p We apparently have a lower rate than even engineering, science, and mathematics majors.

    I'm in the same boat man. I just graduated college in december but no one will hiring me for my field because I don't have experience. It's really hard dude. I'm working an mimimum wage job until I can find something in my field. It's rough sometimes.
  • BohemianMattBohemianMatt Headliner
    edited June 2012
    As an English major, I'm with you (Rune and Hogan). Many jobs require experience to get on board, but if you've never had one before, how can you get it? I'm currently looking for unpaid internships in writing and editing so I can get my foot in the writing door. The obvious problem is, that you have to work at something t make money while you do it. I haven't got an internship yet, but I have some joe-jobs lined up that I can stand long enough to get some experience.
  • jibjqrkljibjqrkl Eventually Perceptive
    edited June 2012
    OK, about the jobs.

    first off. I don't work, and probably never will (have reasons for this but that's not important right now)

    But from what i'm hearing from friends is that it's a pretty crap time to find a job right now. Whenever they apply for something they get to hear at least 50 others applied as well (depending on what job they're going for, but you get the point). And they often go for people with experience. If it's kind of the same where you live, then i'd suggest:

    1. apply for anything you find slightly interesting, it's better to apply for 50 jobs and have to turn down a few eventually than to apply for 1 job. wait till you hear something and then start looking for the next one.

    2. if they're really only looking for people with experience, i'd suggest doing what BohemianMatt said. look for something unpaid in that field of work. Or maybe even offer it yourself and ask (if they're having doubts about hiring you) if you could maybe work the first month or so for free. just so they can see that you got what it takes. It beats the hell out of looking for jobs and not finding them for the same amount of time.

    3. or like Hogan said, try to find a job in a different field for a bit and while you're working there keep looking for places you really do want to work at.

    As for DangImARocker, i'm guessing you're messing with me here.
    but i suggest health comes first ;)


    Anyway, like i said, this is all from what i've heard from friends, i'd appreciate it if someone who actually knows how job-searching goes could help me out here :p
  • SheSaidSheSaidSheSaidSheSaid Washed Up
    edited June 2012
    jibjqrkl;4785916 said:
    Anyway, like i said, this is all from what i've heard from friends, i'd appreciate it if someone who actually knows how job-searching goes could help me out here :p

    It sucks.

    The End.
  • www1221www1221 StackOverflowError
    edited June 2012
    SheSaidSheSaid;4785931 said:
    It sucks.

    The End.

    ^
  • Hogan2000Hogan2000 Banned
    edited June 2012
    jibjqrkl;4785916 said:
    OK, about the jobs.

    first off. I don't work, and probably never will (have reasons for this but that's not important right now)

    But from what i'm hearing from friends is that it's a pretty crap time to find a job right now. Whenever they apply for something they get to hear at least 50 others applied as well (depending on what job they're going for, but you get the point). And they often go for people with experience. If it's kind of the same where you live, then i'd suggest:

    1. apply for anything you find slightly interesting, it's better to apply for 50 jobs and have to turn down a few eventually than to apply for 1 job. wait till you hear something and then start looking for the next one.

    2. if they're really only looking for people with experience, i'd suggest doing what BohemianMatt said. look for something unpaid in that field of work. Or maybe even offer it yourself and ask (if they're having doubts about hiring you) if you could maybe work the first month or so for free. just so they can see that you got what it takes. It beats the hell out of looking for jobs and not finding them for the same amount of time.

    3. or like Hogan said, try to find a job in a different field for a bit and while you're working there keep looking for places you really do want to work at.

    As for DangImARocker, i'm guessing you're messing with me here.
    but i suggest health comes first ;)


    Anyway, like i said, this is all from what i've heard from friends, i'd appreciate it if someone who actually knows how job-searching goes could help me out here :p

    Here's what I did bruther. 2 months after graduating, I still couldn't find a job in my field. So I went down to the unemployment office and told them my situation. They told me they could give me a job but it wont be in my field. That's ok for right now because I need the money while I'm looking for something better. Right now I work 40 to 48 hours every week for 8 bucks an hour. Take note I live in South Carolina for people who thinks I'm getting robbed :). It sucks right now but I have to do what I gotta do until I find a job in my field or at least get my foot in the door. Just take what you can get right now.. Go everywhere. Sometimes you have to do the crap jobs before you can find a job you're comfortable with.. Sometimes just having an education such as a college degree could lead to things you couldn't think of just because you have a degree. Just have to be patient and don't ever let yourself get down. That will kill you more than anything
  • M_Robbins5M_Robbins5 Road Warrior
    edited June 2012
    I recently got fired from my job after just 1 week working there. I want to go back to school, but I would really like to get a job before then so I don't have to rely on my parents help to pay for classes, books, and gas.
    (Keep in mind this is a community college I'm talking about).
    What should I do?
  • BohemianMattBohemianMatt Headliner
    edited June 2012
    M_Robbins5;4786077 said:
    I recently got fired from my job after just 1 week working there. I want to go back to school, but I would really like to get a job before then so I don't have to rely on my parents help to pay for classes, books, and gas.
    (Keep in mind this is a community college I'm talking about).
    What should I do?

    Colleges can sometimes have awesome jobs on-site (Some are better than others). Since all my friends were English majors, they worked in writing centers and tutoring jobs employed by the school.

    You could also try working at either the cafeteria, coffee shop, library, bookstore, IT dept, etc. Some of the jobs offered at both my community college and university even paid more than I was working at a retail store.
  • DangimarockerDangimarocker Headliner
    edited June 2012
    Yes Jibs i was just messing with you :)
  • instantdeath999instantdeath999 Washed Up
    edited June 2012
    I currently have a very serious heroin habit. I overdose constantly, and have come close to death multiple times in the past few months alone. I have become alienated by my friends and family, I am ruined financially, and I have become physically dependent on the drug, to the point where I can barely move if I don't get my fix.

    What do I do to get more money for heroin?
  • LiveHomeVideoLiveHomeVideo Trying too hard
    edited June 2012
    instantdeath999;4786134 said:
    I currently have a very serious heroin habit. What do I do to get more money for heroin?

    Start dealing heroin :p
  • instantdeath999instantdeath999 Washed Up
    edited June 2012
    But then they have heroin, and I don't. That makes me sad. When I'm sad I want heroin.
  • LiveHomeVideoLiveHomeVideo Trying too hard
    edited June 2012
    instantdeath999;4786137 said:
    But then they have heroin, and I don't. That makes me sad. When I'm sad I want heroin.
    Can't take a joke.

    And neither can I.
  • instantdeath999instantdeath999 Washed Up
    edited June 2012
    I can't joke about the prospect of giving away heroin, whether I get money in exchange or not. Don't be silly.
  • darkwinterbeast8darkwinterbeast8 Headliner
    edited June 2012
    SheSaidSheSaid;4785931 said:
    It sucks.

    The End.

    Well said.

    Reading many of these posts relating to employment issues, I can relate to what you all are going through since I've been there before.

    I'd say volunteer work and temp jobs are a good way to go. Build some experience and references; and in the case of the temp jobs bring in some income.

    I do see quite the silver lining as far as job prospects are concerned once all of the Baby Boomers retire and places will be looking for people to fill said jobs, at the same time that'll be the same time retirement funds and safety nets for geezers will go down the crapper and be used up.

    As for instantdeath and his heroin, I'm assuming that it's a joke.
  • jibjqrkljibjqrkl Eventually Perceptive
    edited June 2012
    instantdeath999;4786134 said:
    I currently have a very serious heroin habit. I overdose constantly, and have come close to death multiple times in the past few months alone. I have become alienated by my friends and family, I am ruined financially, and I have become physically dependent on the drug, to the point where I can barely move if I don't get my fix.

    What do I do to get more money for heroin?

    Okay, i'm gonna make 1 thing clear here. this is the last of the "jokes" i'm simply gonna let go.
    Anything that will get posted like this will be reported as trolling from now on.

    nothing against any of you personally, but i want to keep this place as serious as possible.




    As for Runesmith (or any other people that are looking for a job that would be a bit like this).
    Have you considered making a website/Blog?
    I think that if you make one, and just put news items/articles you make on it that it might help you a bit.
    If a company asks you if you have any experience then you can show them something.
  • instantdeath999instantdeath999 Washed Up
    edited June 2012
    darkwinterbeast8;4786202 said:

    As for instantdeath and his heroin, I'm assuming that it's a joke.

    Mostly. I have actually done heroin before... was very stupid, though luckily I never did it again. I also have had the displeasure of knowing a few heroin addicts, one being my uncle, and as sorry as you feel for them, they're an incredible drag to be around. At least among those I've known, the problem is always how they get more money for their habit, rather than breaking their habit.

    So yeah, joke for me, though the sad part is that I'm sure it's true for my uncle. Then again, haven't spoken to him in awhile, he could be over it for all I know.
  • jibjqrkljibjqrkl Eventually Perceptive
    edited June 2012
    Hey everybody.
    I got a PM today from someone who didn't want to post in here.
    I've already tried giving him/her some advice. but maybe someone else has some other way to help him so I'll post it here without his/her name.
    Anonymous said:
    This has really been tearing me apart for the past few days lately. 3 days ago, my mom woke me up by calling me crying on the phone. She told me her and her boyfriend (Who she was going to marry, until now) got into a huge fight, and that she didn't want to live there anymore. She didn't want to marry him. She said she was totally miserable. She said she wanted to live somewhere else, but she can't. My aunt won't let her move in with her (They aren't on good terms because my mom did perscription drugs, and she's 3 years sober. She's going to therapy every week, but my aunt still thinks she needs help.) so she's stuck with her boyfriend until October, unless she spends her life homeless.

    And this is where it gets worse.

    Today, I got a call from my mom. It turns out last night, my mom's boyfriend almost killed her. He beat her, strangled her, and now she has a black eye. And this isn't the first time this happened. 4 years ago, he beat her before, but promised not to do it again. She forgave him. I forgave him. We were both wrong.

    So now, she's screwed, she's living with someone who is abusive, both verbally and physically, she has nowhere to go, and Idk what to do. I gave her a number to a crisis center, but for some reason, they couldn't help her. I really want the best for my mom, and I don't want her living homeless, or worse, murdered by her boyfriend.

    This is the hardest I've ever cried, and I'm usually not the one who cries easily. And idk what to do.
  • Hogan2000Hogan2000 Banned
    edited June 2012
    jibjqrkl;4786864 said:
    Hey everybody.
    I got a PM today from someone who didn't want to post in here.
    I've already tried giving him/her some advice. but maybe someone else has some other way to help him so I'll post it here without his/her name.

    she needs to get away from him dude and get a court restraining order against him ASAP... There's no sense in that kinda stuff man...... Does she have no where else to go? Living homeless is better than putting up with that **** man... She needs to get far away from him asap. Put his ass in jail because that's where guys who beat on girls need to be.. That's stupid and there's no reason for it.
  • DAMdudeDAMdude Opening Act
    edited June 2012
    There are a number of places for her to go. Sad to say someone in that situation who goes through stuff like that and says they have no where to go, only want your pity and attention. They usually thrive on that. Often times they had some sort of serious trauma in their early life that made their self conscious think they only deserve abuse, need it be physical, mental, sexual, verbal, and visual. What her mother needs to do is seek professional therapy. It's a stigma that therapy is for weak people, but I've been going for years upon years now. And don't pay some therapist a bunch of money to listen to your problems, the best ones help you with those problems. I've seen eight therapist before I found my regular doctor.

    But first and foremost, get her away from this person. send him to jail if you can, but above all get her out of there. There are a number of women abuse centers that can take her in. None of them should turn her away. She may have to step in for her mother and play the mother role in order to get this done, but a child should NEVER play this role to their parent for long. Their parent could get dependent on this act. It's easy to do so, it happened to me, and if there has ever been some sort of abuse of narcotics in the past then it most likely already happened.

    Sorry Jib, but this sounds a little out of your league. Have this person PM me if they feel I might be able to help.
  • jibjqrkljibjqrkl Eventually Perceptive
    edited June 2012
    I'm sure he/she is reading this.

    thanks for the help
    As for the therapy, i can already confirm that the mother is going to a therapist. But i'm not sure on how that's going for her
  • BachiGBachiG Inconceivable...
    edited June 2012
    I don't have any life problem significant enough to bring up in here, and I'm certainly not qualified to offer the type of counseling some of the posts in here seem to require, but I will offer this advice to anyone that posts in here really needing help - and that is that you get what you pay for. Typically an internet forum is not the best place to get advice, no matter how well intentioned the responders are.

    Also:
    jibjqrkl;4786234 said:
    Okay, i'm gonna make 1 thing clear here. this is the last of the "jokes" i'm simply gonna let go.
    Anything that will get posted like this will be reported as trolling from now on.

    nothing against any of you personally, but i want to keep this place as serious as possible.

    Unless I'm misinformed, I don't believe that posting "jokes" in here would qualify as trolling (at least not as what I understand the term to mean). LRMT is afterall "(a forum)...full of nonsense! Not directly related to Rock Band, but still a very social place to hang out."

    So, not to rain on the parade in here (and not trying to undermine your thread), but you should probably just ignore anything you find doesn't fit in the mold of your well meaning thread (a real moderator can feel free to correct me if I'm wrong..it wouldn't be the first time).
  • jibjqrkljibjqrkl Eventually Perceptive
    edited June 2012
    BachiG;4787176 said:
    Typically an internet forum is not the best place to get advice, no matter how well intentioned the responders are.
    I get what you're saying here. and i'm definitely not saying someone HAS to take any advice put in here. but (for me at least) just telling people about it can already help a lot. And getting support as well.
    Sometimes you even meet someone who knows a lot about your problem or has been through it him/herselves. and those people can share what they think as well.
    Hell, some of these things in here might just help someone reading them who's gonna say "Oh, it seems i don't have it bad at all"
    BachiG;4787176 said:

    Unless I'm misinformed, I don't believe that posting "jokes" in here would qualify as trolling (at least not as what I understand the term to mean). LRMT is afterall "(a forum)...full of nonsense! Not directly related to Rock Band, but still a very social place to hang out."

    even though the rules are a bit stretched maybe to apply to this. Here are the forum rules which could be applicable to this:
    the forum rules said:

    Trolling & Harassment

    Trolling encompasses a broad and sometimes nebulous type of behavior. Trolling will be classified here as any behavior (post, link, use of forum mechanics) that is/has:

    Malicious in intent.

    Prevents, derails, or undermines the discussion of music, of Rock Band, and/or other topics that take place on the Rock Band forums

    Types of trolling include:

    Posting misleading/false information

  • jibjqrkljibjqrkl Eventually Perceptive
    edited June 2012
    added a few things to the bottom of the first post.
    i'll post m here as well.
    jibjqrkl;4785726 said:

    A few rules to make this as smooth as possible:
    1. Although i'm 99% sure most of us actually want to help you, there of course always is a chance someone comes in here with the sole purpose of making someone feel miserable. I want to ask you to just ignore and report those people.

    2. If you don't agree with someone's advice, don't start an argument in here please. just say what you would do instead. If you want to have an argument with that person please do it in PM or another part of the forums so this won't get filled up with it. (the exception being when someone gives advice that could seriously be bad for someone's health. Example: someone can't get to sleep and someone says he should take twice the max. dose of sleeping pills.)

    3. If you have any problem with what is being posted in here, or the way things are going. please tell me in a PM. please keep this place as much argument free as possible
  • Hogan2000Hogan2000 Banned
    edited June 2012
    sorry sarah I will erase my last post because I was argueing
  • Hogan2000Hogan2000 Banned
    edited June 2012
    well mines not really a problem but let's see what you think of this..

    Have you ever had one of those days when everything slows down and you just have time to think. You think about your childhood, your education, the people you know and your family. Then you start to think what could've done different that would've made my life better. I think about this alot when I get time away from work.

    I also think of my age. 26 years old and no kids.. Why? Everyone I know from school had kids when they were 17 to 20. Here I am married with no kids ha ha. I get on the rock band forums and act like a wrestler. That's something 16 year olds do not 26.

    The thing that gets me the most is I wish I could've done something better with my life. I love electronics and I really wish I had the talent to get on at a famous gaming company. I keep having these thoughts of I wish. I'm never satisfied with what I have, I've always have to keep pushing. My wife hates it but when I have my mind on something I usually wont quit until I do it :). That's why I love that pearl jam song I Wish. That's exactly how I feel, I keep wishing instead of being satisfied. Nothing of importance. I just figure I would share that with the rock band community. When I play the Hogan role I feel important in these forums. I feel like I'm the star of the forums. When I'm Charlie i'm these forums I just feel like I'm just an ordinary person in the forums. No importance. Things like that just keep me thinking. Maybe I'm mental ha ha.

    Thanks for reading
    Charlie/Hogan
  • www1221www1221 StackOverflowError
    edited June 2012
    To be completely honest 26 is still too early to have kids let alone 17. Whether you a Hogan or Charlie you are still a cool dude and ai love having you here. :D
  • SheSaidSheSaidSheSaidSheSaid Washed Up
    edited June 2012
    Men can have the biological imperative to reproduce just like women can. You should talk to your wife and see what she thinks. 26 is still very young unless you want to have a very large family.

    I do wish I could have kids. I hope I'll be able to adopt someday :) But not for at least five years (I am also 26, by the way).

    And you're not too young to chase your dreams, but you should figure out what's more important to you - chasing those dreams, or settling down and having a family. Those two are somewhat mutually exclusive.
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