Let Me Write You Terrible Poetry

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razor63razor63 Unsigned
edited September 17 in Less Rokk More Talk
I was thinking, and I thought what could I offer to the denizens of Rock Band Forums. @Witticus has drawing well and truly covered (it's besides the point that I can't draw), so I thought this is the best I could do. This may not be in anyone's interest (which is fair enough), but here's the idea anyway: You give me a topic, I'll write a short poem (usually between 4 and 16 lines, depending on how strapped for ideas I am) and I'll post it for your leisure.

Topics covered:

Diverticulitis
The Bear and His Cub
A Job No Longer Loved
What Your Pets Do When They're Alone
The Pickle Left Behind
60's Metalcore
Star Wars Street Performing
Cereal Wars
Social Awkwardness of Vegan Zombies
Mormon Black Metal
Gallows From My Window
Billy Corgan's Lyrics
Freddie Mercury Returns
1950's Dubstep
Bloody Freddy
Drunk Man in a Grocery Store
Cannibal Bakesale
Spongebob Goes to a Metal Gig

Topics queued:

None.

Comments

  • WitticusWitticus VERY DEEP
    I love how every time someone has a crazy idea, I'm credited. There's a popular thread somewhere titled "Not Witt's Idea Hangman"
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    What can we say? It's just a sign of how influential you are 'round these parts, especially with GNF now on the other side in an official capacity, ha.
  • LordFlatusLordFlatus Rising Star
    Topic: farting helps prevent diverticulitis
  • The Bear and His Cub ... i'll let you decipher that :D
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    edited August 30
    @LordFlatus, this is yours.

    Diverticulitis

    Be it on the left or right,
    Let the walls be engulfed.

    Take the sharpest points,
    And crush all which lies inside.

    Beg for something better,
    After an occurence so sudden.

    Or just take the time,
    And become the gas of the sweetest release.
  • Witticus said:

    I love how every time someone has a crazy idea, I'm credited. There's a popular thread somewhere titled "Not Witt's Idea Hangman"

    That's because you are crazy, but we love you like family. <3
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    edited August 30
    @Dangimarocker, here it is.

    The Bear and His Cub

    The fur on his chest was so warm,
    Enough for a cold winter's night,
    With the bright shining stars above,
    It was enough to be feeling alright.

    So let the clocks spin around,
    Until we're feeling safe and sound,
    And have experienced the night's delight.

    Then we can lift the cover,
    After what he and I discovered,
    Blinking in the fresh morning light.
  • wh1t3kn1tewh1t3kn1te Opening Act
    ive got a good topic, working at a job you no longer love
  • Topic: "What do your pets do when they're alone."
  • TubaDude49TubaDude49 Road Warrior

    Topic: "What do your pets do when they're alone."

    60 Metascore
    An uninspired movie
    Illumination
  • DrowGamer77DrowGamer77 Serious Business
    the last pickle in the jar that gets left there for weeks
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    edited August 31
    @wh1t3kn1te, here it is:

    A Job No Longer Loved

    There was a time before,
    When my eyes shimmered,
    As the thought of you kept me in line.

    Each day would pass by,
    And it was a carnival every time,
    Until things began feeling the same.

    As the days came and went,
    I found I loved you less and less,
    Until I could love you no more.
  • Topic: "What do your pets do when they're alone."

    60 Metascore
    An uninspired movie
    Illumination
    What about:

    Metalcore if it was from the 60s
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    Wildcat15 said:

    Topic: "What do your pets do when they're alone."

    60 Metascore
    An uninspired movie
    Illumination
    What about:

    Metalcore if it was from the 60s
    If you don't mind a groovy rendition of Killswitch Engage or Bullet For My Valentine, I'll give it a go, mwahaha.
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    @MythsOfMetal, here's yours.

    What Your Pets Do Alone

    In a quiet house,
    Where nobody can hear you squeak,
    Live a group of a mice.

    All day and all of the night,
    They stay there,
    Waiting for you to come home.

    But until then,
    When they come out,
    It's time for a cheesy rap battle.
  • Thanks. That's what I was hoping for.

    Now I have a new one for you.

    "The trials and hardships of street performers in the Star Wars universe"
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned

    Thanks. That's what I was hoping for.

    Now I have a new one for you.

    "The trials and hardships of street performers in the Star Wars universe"

    By the gods, haha. I can try, but I don't know much about Star Wars.
  • LordFlatusLordFlatus Rising Star
    edited September 1

    Topic: "What do your pets do when they're alone."

    60 Metascore
    An uninspired movie
    Illumination
    "Un-in-spy-er-red"?
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    edited August 31
    @DrowGamer77 this is yours.

    The Pickle Left Behind

    From the door toward the sky,
    I've seen my siblings leave,
    One by one, to never return.

    It's impossible to tell,
    When my last chance will be,
    To tell them goodnight or goodbye.

    These glass walls cannot be broken,
    Nor can they be scaled,
    For this prison is my final resting place.
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    Okay, @Wildcat15 here it is, as promised.

    Tell Her (of My Curse)

    If she told you she was walking away,
    She would leave you with nothing to say.

    Tell her nothing,
    For this is my curse,
    Tell her nothing,
    for this is my curse.

    There she is,
    Burning through your love,
    But will she hurt you so?

    (Apologies if this came out badly, it was harder than I thought to mesh "Tell Her No" by the Zombies and "My Curse" by Killswitch Engage.)
  • DrowGamer77DrowGamer77 Serious Business
    this is beautiful
  • My new topic "Cereal Wars"
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    @MythsOfMetal, apologies in advance. I'm not a Star Wars fan, but I tried:

    The Tatooine Busker

    I've lived on these streets,
    For all my life.
    Wherever I go,
    I find trouble and strife.

    For night after night,
    I sing from wall to wall.
    Scraping together enough money,
    So I can make last call.

    Even today was bad,
    But it wasn't the worst.
    That was the day,
    When Han shot first.
  • The ending is really good. Great for someone who's not really into SW.

    My new topic.

    The social awkwardness when one zombie out of a horde decides to go Vegan.
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    @Dangimarocker here is yours.

    The Cereal Wars

    After the bar crawl,
    The found an empty hall,
    Just ready for a brawl,
    And only one representative could not fall.

    Apple Jack said "cheerios" tonight,
    As the rest began the fight,
    He said something with fright,
    about a broken tail-light.

    The Cap'n and the Count stood on the mound,
    They were the first round,
    And were pounded in the ground,
    Still, without a sound.

    The Krispie elves and the crazy cow,
    All said "How about now?",
    To put an end to their bitter row,
    Both had to take a bow.

    Lucky went up against Trix,
    They were both looking for some kicks,
    So they fenced with sticks,
    Until both were covered in nicks.

    At the end of the day, all were left in his wake,
    As he still stood, he hadn't made a mistake,
    All the others before him, they did break,
    Because they could not stop the Quaker's earthquake.

  • I love that @razor63 <3
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned
    @MythsOfMetal this is yours.

    I'm Coming Out

    I was nineteen when I died,
    It was the prime of my life,
    Or that's what they said at the funeral.

    My parents re-animated a while back,
    A little before I did, matter of fact,
    So we live now,
    In a zombie town, with a zombie car,
    I'd bet that won't get to far.

    As I nervously returned home one night,
    My parents were in the living room,
    Dark lighting for a dark night.

    I stepped foot inside,
    Only to expect that the accusations fly,
    Of which I can't deny.

    "We'll love you no matter what" they said,
    As if there wasn't a threat against my head.

    "But we need to know... are... you...?" they asked,
    The anticipation rising fast.

    "Gay? for sure." I started,
    "Yeah, we know that." the interrupt went,
    Despite expecting the broken hearted.

    "Are you... y'know... one of those...?" They asked,
    To see if I was up to the task.

    "Vegans you mean?" I did reply,
    To shocked faces, which couldn't look me in the eye.

    "I didn't raise you to be like that!" they said,
    As if putting a bullet through my reanimated head.

    "Can't you be normal, instead of one of those hippie freaks?",
    The expectation was akin to the brain's leaks.

    So I am a vegan,
    Forever shunted out the door,
    I haven't seen my parents since then,
    And I'm now twenty-four.
    Forever condemned,
    For going after what I love,
    Is the fact a zombie can love not enough?

    (Sorry, this deviated from what it was originally, and what it was supposed to be!)
  • It's okay. It was a difficult topic.

    New topic. If Mormons played black metal.
  • razor63razor63 Unsigned

    It's okay. It was a difficult topic.

    New topic. If Mormons played black metal.

    Any particular bands I could use as reference? I figured I'd do a similar thing to the 60's Metalcore piece.
  • edited September 4
    razor63 said:

    It's okay. It was a difficult topic.

    New topic. If Mormons played black metal.

    Any particular bands I could use as reference? I figured I'd do a similar thing to the 60's Metalcore piece.
    Immortal
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